PrismaticSpirit

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#greenscreen

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I haven’t made a TikTok since we were all stuck inside due to Covid but now I’m stuck inside because that’s where the AC is. @justbeingmelani #wdnc #wdncclub #peri #perimenopause #hotgirlsummer

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Happy holidays everyone. Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be feeling a bit better and I’ll be able to do all the things that my family usually does, just a tad more slowly perhaps? But please keep in mind that I did not choose this. This isn’t a cry for help or attention. This is an apology for being unable to live up to expectations. For being unable to be present at holidays. For locking myself away so that no one has to see me suffering. But I’m so tired, and I can’t hide it anymore. Please forgive me. The pain is UNREAL. It’s not psychological; I would be over-the-top enthusiastically into the holiday season if I COULD be. This year, I just can’t. If not for the physical pain, I’d be blissfully happy. I have a wonderful fiancé who loves me with all his heart. I have beautiful, smart, and talented children. I have supportive parents. I have everything I need to be happy, but my body just isn’t cooperating with me lately. The whys don’t matter. What matters is that I love all of you, my dear friends and loving family, and I am letting you down. Not by choice; by chance. I injured my rotator cuff and it triggered a MASSIVE fibromyalgia flare, but again, that is not the important part. The important part is that you all know that I really am trying with all my might, even if it doesn’t look like that from the outside. I can’t do things the way I could before, and I keep forgetting that and re-injuring myself. I need to take it slow. I WILL do the things that are expected of me; it just might be a little bit later than I or they would prefer. But I love you all ❤️ and always will #fibromyalgia #fibro #chronicillness #chronicpain #deaf