The Missing Self

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🧬GENDER ARGUMENT 🧜‍♂️ | It’s hard to believe how divisive the topic of gender has become. The plight of the of trans* community, to feel safe in their bodies, homes, and country, has somehow turned into the most controversial issue of our time. You’d think the attention on the issue would breed good conversation, but no. NOWHERE, across the entirety of the internet, could I find a reasonable debate about gender. That is why I made this video a bit longer than the others, I felt a sense of responsibility to capture the essence of what people on both sides would say to each other if they weren’t so angry all the time. I feel so much compassion towards the trans community, trying to lead a movement of unprecedented inclusion, and I also feel for all of the people that are confused by the incompleteness of its ideology. It’s ironic that the debate is about identity, considering the fact that both sides seem to have forgotten that they are not their identities. The real battle always seems to be waging within ourselves, between the self that has no description, and the costume that it wears so that others can describe us. I hope it doesn’t take too much v10/ence for all of us to see ourselves in each-other. | #gender #transition #identity #themissingself #educational #debate #inclusion #man #woman #nonbinary

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NOBODY IS HELPING ME!🆘 | We all need help sometimes, but we forget that by asking, we are unwittingly promising to make that help useful. When we are struggling, we are quick to judge those that refuse to help us, unaware of how little we’ve proven ourselves capable of using it to any meaningful end. The only way to prove that we can be trusted with other’s help, is to demonstrate our generosity with ourselves. Ironically, once you can multiple the value of what you have, you won’t need help quite as often, but when you do, people will surely line up to help you. | #charity #service #community #friends #relationships #society #money #rich #trust #thoughts

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TRAD WIFE TRENDS | 👩‍🍳 @ballerinafarm has found herself caught in the crosshairs of some harsh backlash for claiming to enjoy a life of a homemaker. Commenters argue that she's in desperate need of saving, from her kids, her husband, and her own decision making, though she maintains that she is happy. Whether or not she is actually happy is beside the point—there are people all over the world unhappy with their lives, choices, and partners. Ironically, many of the people trying to "rescue" Hannah from her self-imposed "oppression" may be unhappy themselves. What they seem to forget is that part of being an autonomous human being is having the freedom to make your own choices and live with the consequences. Trying to "rescue" a woman from the life she has willingly chosen, and continues to choose, is far more misogynistic than her cooking and cleaning for her children. If she were exhausted from preparing for a ballet performance, writing a book, or doing humanitarian work abroad, no one would belittle her efforts or tell her to rest and escape all that "terrible work." Yet, when it comes to raising a family, running a farm, and competing in beauty pageants, her hard work is suddenly open to ridicule. One of the most baffling objections is the idea that she sets an unrealistic standard or is a negative influence on other women. This argument is almost comical—each of us aspires to excel in different areas of life. If we start dismissing excellence in one lifestyle, why not criticize sports for setting "unrealistic" physical standards? At the end of the day, we should all be allowed to choose our paths, own our decisions, and learn the natural consequences of our mistakes. That’s what makes us free. In the wise words of J Cole: "Don't save her. She don't want to be saved" #ballerinafarm #tradwife #farming #traditional #family #beauty #women

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I’M NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH 😓| Fantasies don’t motivate the way memories do. Without fond memories, The unmotivated workaholic drolls through his day, working without passion or grit, while remaining unable to justify taking a break. I noticed myself becoming this hollow shell of discipline the past year, and it was only radical life events that forced me to take a break from the rhythm of work. Little did i know that the reward of experiencing new people places and things, would create a new motivation to work that was unbelievably powerful! I found something to work hard for again. Not just an imagined goal, but one I experienced with my senses and now refuse to go my whole life without experiencing again. | #motivation #work #workout #hardwork #vacation #lazy #tired #stress #themissingself

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I’M REALLY SCARED OF COMMITMENT 💍| Committing to a person forever can sound romantic, but it doesn’t serve you or the person you’re committing to. Committing to stay together unconditionally leaves both people vulnerable to each-other’s changing behaviors. Committing to the maintenance and health of your relationship, on the other hand is much more work, more rewarding, and more resilient to those changes. | #marriage #love #commitment #themissingself #relationships #changing #datingadvice

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WORK ARTUMENT 💪 | We're all stuck in an endless cycle of making and spending money. The work-train is always moving, and will leave us broke if we decide not to get aboard. In some ways, this train keeps the country running, and every dollar we make and spend helps support other families trying to keep their lights on. In other ways, it feels like our obsession with money has made us forget about all the forms of value that can't be purchased with money. If money isn't flowing abundantly in your direction this season, maybe invest time and energy into your relationships, store value in the safety net of your community. That way, no matter where you fall in the trade cycle, you'll have wealth in one form or another. #money #worklifebalance #work #capitalism #socialism #economy #business #debate #job #entrepreneur

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I HATE HER 😡 | Have you ever tried defending your ex's decision to dump you? Why not? Was it not brave of them to do something about their waning feelings? Too many of us build back our self-esteem after a break-up, by destroying the reputation of the very people we said we "loved". break-ups are the most data rich moments in our life. If we could only put our ego aside long enough to examine our own part to play in it's end, we could use those insights to forge a better relationship in the future. Now, assuming you are unharmed by your ex's presence, and both of you can emotionally regulate yourself in their presence, a friendship with them can prove to be one of the most valuable assets in your life longterm. For now, give eachother space, give eachother time, but don't don't give in to the temptation to reframe your entire relationship as deciet, pain, and agony simply because you don't want to process the inner conflict of still loving someone who wasn't ever going to be your forever person. #love #breakup #girlfriend #boyfriends #wife #husband #divorce #themissingself #advice

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ARE TRANS WOMEN WOMEN? 👫 | A conversation between advocates of biologically determined gender, individually determined gender, and socially determined gender. #trans #gender #lgbtq #debate #women #men #masculine #feminine

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IS BREAKING A SPORT? | 🤸 the noise dies down and the dust settles around Raygun, I think we’ll find that her ridicule may have carved out a space in public consciousness for breaking that otherwise may have never existed. Sure, that space is now filled with negative perceptions of breaking, but underneath the hood of this cultural moment, is a mass education of the nuances of dance. More People than ever are tuned in, ready to judge dance wherever they see it, to compare it to that one girl from Australia, and when they see that breaking culture is filled with unbelievable feats of athleticism and beauty, they’re now more prepared to appreciate it! We may not see the net benefit for quite sometime, but if Breaking uses this momentum to promote itself even more, it may prove to be a blessing in disguise for the culture. #raygun #olympics #themissingself #breaking #dance #debate

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I’M SUCH A LOSER! 🤝 | We often consume ourselves with the winning and the losing, but could there be another motivation for competing? | #competition #game #sports #awards #evolution #philosophy #performance #themissingself

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IMPOSTER SYNDROME👯| Do I deserve this? Do I deserve anything? Does anyone really know me? Do I want them to? Is the best version of me the one I pretend to be? How long can I keep this up? Dors anyone notice that I’m not myself? Will I ever get to be myself again? | #success #confidence #psychology #trust #imposter #selflove #impostersyndrome #themissingself

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I’M SO LONELY 😞| The space in your mind is filled with voices, but they’re all yours. The images that fill your head are of you. You are surrounded with people, and yet you feel alone, because you can’t seem to find any room in your mind for a thought, a statement, or an image, of someone else. Your loneliness is a product of boundless self-concern. Only by quieting your mind can you invite other people’s ideas, emotions, and problems into your life in a way that makes you feel less alone inside yourself. More connected. More loved. | #lonely #friends #family #mind #mentalhealth #attention #love