ꜱʏʟᴠᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ ;)

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It all started in elementary and middle school. I was bigger than most girls my age, and many classmates used that as a reason to exclude me. I spent a lot of time alone, changed classes, and only had a few friends. Those years really damaged my confidence and made it hard for me to trust people. When I started high school, I hoped things would be different. Luckily, I made two amazing friends who have meant more to me than they’ll ever know. I wasn’t bullied anymore, but for the first time I realized that while I had been focused on my problems at school, I had ignored what was happening at home. My parents, brother, and grandmother often commented on my weight. My dad regularly told me to eat less or joked about my body, and my mom would usually laugh along. My grandmother also made constant remarks about what I should or shouldn’t eat. Hearing those comments for six years made me incredibly insecure and anxious. My dad was also very controlling and often criticized or yelled at me whenever I made mistakes. Because of that, even constructive criticism now feels deeply personal, and I easily fall into a negative cycle of self-doubt. Last year, during a school internship at a retirement home, things got even worse. I was treated unfairly, my personal notes were read, and staff even lied to my teacher about things I supposedly did. After my final evaluation, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried because I truly believed I was a failure. Although my teacher later reassured me I wasn’t , my self-esteem hit an all-time low. This school year started with me already struggling, while the comments about my weight at home continued. In October I had another internship, this time at a different retirement home where I finally felt welcomed and appreciated. But before my final internship on a regular ward in March, I became physically sick from fear. A week before it started, I opened up to one of my teachers about everything happening at home. It was the first time in six years that I felt safe enough to tell someone. During my internship, I was close to having daily panic attacks, but thanks to her support I was able to transfer back to the daycare department where I felt more comfortable. At the same time, I was struggling with thoughts about whether people would even miss me if I wasn’t here. I always felt like my brother was the favorite and that I was a mistake. My teacher spoke to my mom, and although my family said they cared, I still find it difficult to believe them or feel safe opening up. Thankfully, my mom realized I needed help, and I’ve been seeing a psychologist for about a month now. It’s still a journey, and I still feel lonely or misunderstood sometimes, but I’m slowly learning to see the good again. That’s also why I haven’t posted much over the past two years. They were some of the hardest years of my life, and I simply didn’t have the energy or confidence to keep editing. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. It took a lot of courage to share it. Love J (I’m sending this to u because I trust u with this info as fellow editors and human beings) @𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑒 @ezra • @alexa @ᴍʏʀᴇ @❄️ @grace @Kaiᗢ @ִֶཐི༏ཋྀ @Multii_Editxx_ @lizzray @𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖆 💋 @𝒱6𝓂𝓅𝓈❦ @Rose @𝐑𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨 @viri

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she's indeed a miracle... | cc: @maxsverse| #fyp #marvelstudios #avengersdoomsday #scarletwitch #sylvverse @mxrvl.e @mik3ytrilogy @marxvl.ed @v6mps.fx @.miko_vfx @dckerstvr @reashee @wesleytrilogy @itzstark110 @darianangel_ @delamille @viri.mp4 @multii_editxx_ @diana.aep133 @pewxst @ezra_lovrr @vxcarlet @ricardoover.4 @lokiseidr @cobieaep @infinqtywar @sylviesupremacy._

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its @my._life.8 fault... | cc intro: happiness cc edit: trauma | audio: @yourlipscrush | #fyp #scarletwitch #edit #sylvverse #wandavision #wanda @a.scarllet @ra1ny.vfx @v6mps.fx @wesleytrilogy @ezr4.vfx @ezra_lovrr @mxrvl.e @viri.mp4 @vxcarlet @multii_editxx_ @ricardoover.4 @pewxst @lokiseidr @cobieaep @sylviesupremacy._ @infinqtywar @gamorasnat_