Carissa

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Well, after 11½ weeks in the hospital, I am finally going home tomorrow, September 15th! ❤️ These past 11½ weeks have been a rollercoaster filled with heavy emotions, challenges, and experiences I never could have anticipated. I have received some excellent care from some truly wonderful people, and I am incredibly grateful for them. But I have also experienced a lack of care and negligence on many levels. This experience has opened my eyes to just how much our healthcare system is struggling right now. And it goes beyond being short-staffed. There are systemic issues that need to be addressed and changes that need to be made. Some changes can start with something as simple as nurses taking the time to read a patient's chart before providing care—especially float staff who may not be familiar with the patient. Taking those extra few moments can make such a difference in someone's care, safety, and dignity. And that is only a small portion of what I have experienced during my time here. But tomorrow, I get to go HOME. ❤️ I get to be with my wonderful husband. Who has been by my side from day 1! Who has spent countless hours by my bedside, worrying about me, caring for me and loving me! I get to be in our home and sleep in my own bed. After everything these 11½ weeks have held, I am going home stronger. I am leaving with more wisdom, a stronger voice, and so much personal and spiritual growth. I know without a doubt that I could not have made it through these past 11½ weeks without God right by my side. Deuteronomy 31:8 says: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” This verse has held true in so many ways throughout my life, but especially during these past 11½ weeks. There were moments when I felt exhausted, unsafe, afraid, discouraged, and unsure of how much more I could handle. But God never left me. Tomorrow, I finally get to walk out of this hospital and begin the next chapter of my healing journey. I’m going home. ❤️ #hospitalstay #imcominghome #healingjourney

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I can’t believe it’s already been one week since I came home from the hospital. In some ways, it feels like just yesterday, and in others, it feels like I’ve been home much longer. Those first few days were amazing—being home with my husband, sleeping in our own bed again, and even going to the bathroom by myself! 😂 Sorry if that’s too much information, but it’s my reality, and after everything I’ve been through, those little things feel pretty incredible. Everything has fallen into place exactly the way it needed to, almost as if God planned it or something. 😉 And of course, I believe He did—right down to the smallest details. One of the paramedics who brought me home was the same paramedic who took me to the hospital three months ago, when I was literally dying. This time, he got to watch me walk into my apartment. He told me how good I looked and how glad he was to see that I was recovering so well. It was such a full-circle moment. The nurse who discharged me was also the same nurse who admitted me three months earlier—another full-circle moment. When I arrived home, everything was already in place. Home care was arranged, wound care was set up for my surgical incision, and physiotherapy was ready to begin. My healthcare aide is the same one I had before I went into the hospital, and she has been an absolute blessing to both Scott and me. She actually held a spot for me, not knowing I would be gone for three months, because she wanted to make sure she could care for me when I came home. Even the nurse caring for my incision is someone who cared for me two years ago when I had a different wound. I can’t look at all of these things and believe they happened by accident. I truly believe God was orchestrating the details. He knew how unsafe I had felt during parts of my hospital stay, and He knew how much I needed to feel safe and cared for when I came home. And He provided that safety. I’ve also continued physiotherapy at home every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I’m doing exercises in my apartment and walking the hallways, slowly continuing to rebuild my strength and independence. Scott was able to take three days off while I settled back into being home, and having him beside me during those first few days was so important. Going from a hospital where people are constantly around you to suddenly being home alone is a huge adjustment, and I honestly didn’t know how I was going to react. Having Scott there gave me so much comfort and reassurance. And then I was ready to kick him back to work! 😂 Just kidding! He was probably more ready to go back to work than I was ready for him to go. All in all, I’m settling in well, and I am incredibly thankful to be HOME. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me, checked on me, encouraged me, and cared about how I was doing. And to those of you who visited me in the hospital—especially those who came more than once—I don’t think you will ever fully understand what those visits meant to me. Words cannot express how much it meant to have people show up for me during some of the hardest days of my life. Those visits healed parts of me I didn’t even know needed healing. I am home. I am recovering. I am getting stronger. And through every detail, I can see God’s faithfulness. ❤️ #godsfaithfulness #finallyhome #hospitalstay #recovery #strongereveryday

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Two weeks of being home. Two weeks of settling into a new normal—whatever “normal” even means these days. Day by day, I’m trying new things and learning what I can do independently and what I still need help with. There have been so many wins already—small goals I’ve set for myself and accomplished. Moments of happiness, joy, excitement, and the incredible feeling of realizing, I did that. I’m proud of myself. But one thing I wasn’t prepared for when I came home was the after-effects of trauma. Sometimes the smallest things can trigger a trauma response. Something as simple as the bedroom door being closed can instantly take me back to my hospital room, where I felt trapped. In reality, I can get up and open the door now—but in that moment, my body freezes and panic takes over. I wasn’t expecting that. I also wasn’t expecting to be so emotional. Alongside all the joy and accomplishments, there is sadness and frustration over the things I still can’t do—yet. Sometimes those moments take me right back to the people in the hospital who didn’t believe in me, who doubted my abilities, or who didn’t even give me a chance. When I say that being in the hospital was the most traumatic experience of my life, I mean it. I have never experienced trauma like that before, and I’m still learning how to process everything that happened. Thankfully, I have a great team of doctors helping me work through it. I’m learning that healing from trauma isn’t easy, and it certainly isn’t a quick fix. Just like my physical recovery, it’s going to take time. And one thing I’m beginning to understand is that I don’t have to have it all figured out right now. I can celebrate how far I’ve come while still acknowledging the parts of me that are hurting. Two weeks home. One day at a time. #trauma #traumaresponse #processing #emotional