Steve Widowhood & Dating

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The day of Tamara’s funeral, I came home and took my wedding ring off for the last time. I opened the clamshell jewelry box that we kept our rings in, and placed mine with hers. It was one of many things I did to grieve her loss and say goodbye. Today, I opened that box for the first time in almost 7 years to take this picture for you, and discovered that I had actually placed my ring over the diamond of her engagement ring. I had completely forgotten that I had done that. The rings in the row behind are other rings that Tamara bought for me over the years. The original wedding ring we had custom-made for me had started to chip and fade within a year or so. The ring I was wearing at the time of her death was tungsten, with a blue carbon fibre insert. She had surprised me with that ring on our 10th anniversary, and I had worn it as my wedding band every day since. When I posted the video about my decision to remove the ring after her funeral, hundreds of people commented. While the majority of the comments on that post were supportive, many people made judgemental comments, jumping to conclusions about me, and about my relationship with Tamara. Some questioned why I would ever take it off, while one person said “men literally RUN to move on.” I did not move on. I made the decision to move FORWARD. Losing a spouse is ranked as the single most stressful life event one can experience, with a score of 100. For reference, divorce is 2nd, with a score of 73. There are no words to describe how incredibly painful the loss of a spouse is. When your whole world is suddenly turned upside down, you have to make choices that are right for you. Sure, I could have worn the ring after the wedding, maybe moving it to another finger, or to my other hand. But it didn’t fit any other fingers. I’ve seen comments from others suggesting ways to repurpose the ring into a pendant, have it melted down and turned into a new ring, etc. None of those options appealed to me as much as placing my ring over hers, keeping them together for eternity. I may find a secluded spot one day and bury the box with our rings in it, deep underground so that they’ll be together forever. Or, I may end up giving one or both of the rings to my (our) son, should he ever decide to get married. Whatever happens, the choice will be mine and mine alone, and it will come from a place of pure love for my late wife Tamara. No snide or ill-informed comment is ever going to change that. ❤️‍🩹 I started a community for widowed people to connect, learn, grow, and discuss the issues they face after the loss of a spouse, just like this one. We The Widowed. Give me a follow to make sure you see all the updates. #widowed #weddingrings

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We The Widowed #widowed #widower #widowsoftiktok

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My backstory on #dating #datingover40 #widow

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This banana plant was given to my late wife and I as a wedding gift. Tamara passed away in 2019, and I’ve been keeping it alive since then. It has sprouted a new baby plant multiple times, and each time I’ve repotted that new plant in its place. Our 21st wedding anniversary would have been a week ago, so it’s high time I gave this guy some TLC. #widowed #storytime

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Have you ever been flabberghosted? #dating #ghosted

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Three things I wish someone had told me before is toasting again after losing my wife. #widowed #loveafterloss

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Pheromone MAXXING #dating

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My first ever girlfriend dumped me because there was “no more oomph.” Turns out I wasn’t the only one who got dumped for that same reason that night! #firstgirlfriend #datingstory #datingstories

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It’s important to take a step back and analyze things from an objective place early in dating. #dating #lovebombing

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How do you navigate it? #widowed #datingafter40

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Replying to @hello Here’s a little more context. #widowed

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How long did you wear your wedding ring? #widowed