MODEL PLUS ME

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#onthisday

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🥹 6-year-old me cried, "All bodies don't love me." 💔 I squeezed myself into small corners and asked God why He left me. Why did I have to be here? "Come get me. I want to go home. I don't like it here." I was almost mute until high school. I'm 46 now. Some days I still hear her. I've been in survival mode for far too long. Too sick to work. Too tired to fight systems that don't help. Too exhausted to keep proving I deserve support, even when I'm not "useful" to someone. This is raw. This is real. 🫣 I'm in therapy. Still. Daily. I know the coping skills by heart. I can regulate my nervous system in my sleep. I've sat in more therapy rooms than most therapists. The trauma hasn't stopped, so I'm still healing. ❤️‍🩹 I'm not ashamed. I don't shame myself for what I didn't know. My mom @Kathryn Smith401 named me "tenacious," and I've lived up to it. I crawled out of dark holes 🕳️ I was pushed into. And when I couldn't crawl, my service dog Winnie 🐕‍🦺 @W I N N I E 🐾 & seester @katnip.kk pulled me out. You've probably only seen the smiling one helping everyone else. Being SEEN feels scary. Right now I don't know where I'll live. I scramble for food for me and for Winnie. I'm scared my support could be pulled. And my body can't heal in fear. So here's what I'm calling in ✨ People who are safe. Gentle. Slow to anger. People who don't ask "Why are you so complicated?" People who ask "What can I do?" and then do it, without shame or resentment. 11:11 as I write this. My support isn't only on earth. God, my angels, my spiritual team, my animals. I'm alone, but I am never lonely. I rebuke darkness with my light ✨ I am healing AND living a life of love, laughter, and joy. Both. At the same time. If this found you, it was meant to. Comment 🤍 if you're my people. #cptsd #chronicillness #hidradenitissuppurativa #survivalmode #spoonie

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⚖️ Protect my skin… or protect my soul? Today I chose sunshine ☀️ with Winnie. My body is burning, but my love tank is FULL..er 💗 HS warriors, what's your "worth it" moment? #h#hidradenitissuppurativah#hswarriorc#chronicillnessf#frenchiespoonie @W I N N I E 🐾 @HSConnect.org @COZY CARE COLLECTION @chubbygirlgoodies @✨ ROZY💜HS ➕ PLUS-SIZE STYLE🐾 @thelaststag