ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ Au ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

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SOOO OLD but rly could have maybe should have

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Pardon my take if this is ignorant. Ik numerology is probably math in the same way birth charts are math. Which is like, not really. Again forgive me if this is all lies, I will look into at LEAST 555 more bc WDYM 🤢

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Trying to be more active. ✨LOVE✨ black and grey colored pencil and a toothsome paper 🦷🦷🦷 Not so quick note to ppl who have been following me for a minute: TL;DR: I’m branching out but also kind of not. I’m just gonna be posting my art more lol long time no see frfr !!! I am still in therapy, still working on my ✨wealth of mental health issues✨ but have fallen off on tit tot. I’m doing pretty okay nowadays, my mental health has its ups and downs as things tend to go. I have only been institutionalized once since 2020 😛, I only have therapy once a week, sessions are no longer recorded, and am down to 3 meds daily. Which to some sounds like a lot but as u know to me is actually much less💕 In a lot of ways I’m doing better than when I created this account, and I said from the jump at the bare minimum it would be a very accurate record of my mental health, which it defo still is. I’d say climbing the retail ladder does have something to do with my falling off on here, the more I had to manage the less time I gave to think about myself. My abandonment of retail for the tattoo industry has largely contributed to my “getting better*” & finding a way to see myself 15-20 years in the future. Definitely hard to do working desperately for something you don’t fxing want. Kinda crazy how mental illness can make you forget how to do what you love, and then after a while you actually just forget what it is entirely that you loved to do in the first place. And then there’s a weird empty hole somewhere that you can’t place at like all times lol, values begone. Once the nervous system gets so deeply, consistently rocked & your body thinks it is in grave danger all the time it starts dropping nonessential functions. Obviously one of the first things that’s gonna go is creativity. In retrospect I think going to rehab really opened my eyes to the fact that I was incomplete if I wasn’t making art, and that it was a guaranteed safe place to put my brain for extended periods of time. ALSO kinda crazy that when I left the psych ward they said, “get tattoos. Dye your hair crazy colors. Get piercings. Do whatever you have to do to safely get dopamine.” Which I did faithfully do. I literally could not comprehend a future for myself while I was in shops getting tattooed though, so I never really took it seriously until the past few years. Considering I did my first tattoo myself when I was 15 in a friend’s basement with a sewing needle stuck in the back of a pencil, seems like a sensible career direction. I also was a certified scratcher for my 2 years in art school and a good 2-3 years after, giving shxtty stick and pokes to friends & friends of friends. (PSA: If I have tattooed you, just know I will fix whatever I gave u for free when I’m licensed.) Not to mention my legs are also covered in fxcka$$ stick & pokes, I was fully wiping my tattoos mid session with neutrogena makeup wipes. Convenient but NOT GOOD. Again, makes sense historically speaking. It was fully beknownst to me but I was not in a state of mind to really put together that I could pursue that as a career. Anyways! I’ve more or less come to my senses. Stopped being a scratcher, been being good. Probs gonna make a pivot on this account to share more of my art. As much as I feel like part of my life’s purpose is to share what I’ve learned in therapy, which I will likely still do here and there, creating art is genuinely something I need to do to exist lol, so I’ll be sharing more. They are pretty related, I do also need therapy to live still so yaknow if I feel the need to share any groundbreaking theraputic revelations trust & believe I will take it straight to y’all. And maybe some tarot content idk. *I think by “getting better” I mean not being actively OR passively su1c*dal And if you’re new here and you read all this, no worries. Not sure why u would ever do that even if you’re not. But no worries. Not manic j senti