Eli Harwood

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Depression is the worst. And it’s incredibly common. Our bodies and moods can get out of whack as a result of all sorts of things. Sometimes the depression only visits for a few days, sometimes it’s weeks, and sometimes it gets infected and becomes chronic and even dangerous. No matter how long the depression has been visiting you, remember these four things…. 1) Objects in the mirror will appear far more hopeless than they actually are. If everything seems awful and no idea seems helpful, and your self concept is only negative….rely on the encouragement of others as the more accurate perspective, because the mirror you have access too at the moment is distorted. 2) You are not a burden and help from others is the right road out of this depression. Let people in and let them help, they will be thankful to be a part of something so important in your life. 3) All suffering can teach us something. Use this moment to notice something about what you want and need in your life. Sometimes it’s about adjusting expectations of self, or changing a relational environment, or joining in purposeful activism, or making changes in our self care routines etc. Thus pain can produce new meaning in our lives. 4. The sun is still there, even when you can’t see her. Hang on long enough for the clouds to clear or the morning to come…it will be worth it. Sending love to all of you, who, like me, get visited by depression from time to time. It sucks, but we can do this. Love on. #therapy #depression #recovery

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To everyone who is giving your kids the love and support you didn’t get: YOU GOT THIS!!! Love on. Check out my bio for a link to my parenting book

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Sometimes I day dream about parenting children in an era without internet. But since that’s not my reality, I instead read every book I can get my hands on about how modern technology is affecting our kids and what we can to to maximize the benefits and decrease the negative side effects. For now the rule in my house is no social media until they are 16 for all the reasons I shared in my video. The more of us who do this, the easier for everyone involved, including our kids. For those of you who have young teens with accounts already, please don’t shame or beat yourself up for that. That might be the right choice for your particular kid or particular family situation. But if you know in your gut that it isn’t, you can change your mind. Yes, they will be pissed. But they will adjust if you can change your mind with their mind and heart at the center of the choice. The most comprehensive book on this topic is The Anxious Generation by @jonathanhaidt. Even if you don’t agree with every single point in the book, I think it tells a very compelling truth about how social media and smart phones have harmed kids especially tweens and younger teens. I recently worked with IG recently in support of them increasing restrictions and protections on teen accounts because I know not all teens have parents looking out for them in this arena. But my ultimate hope is that we keep kids off phones and social media as much as possible for as long as possible. Love on.

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The most important parenting tool we have, is our bond with our children. It is the foundation that helps them develop physically, emotionally, and socially. (In the scientific studies on parent-child relationships we refer to this as attachment) Our kids need to know how we feel about our role as the people who take care of them. They need to know that we can handle things that are big and scary, and that we don’t feel burdened by the role. It is truly an honor to be their parent (even though it can also be seriously challenging at times). Our children need the security of knowing that we are going to take care of ourselves and our emotional needs so they don’t forgo their own needs in pursuit of what they think our needs are. For an entire guide on how to build a secure relationship with your children at any stage of life, head to my profile for the link to my new book: Raising Securely Attached Kids: Connection Focused Parenting for Confidence, Empathy and Resilience. (Available in paperback, audiobook and ebook) Love on.

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There are no bad kids. There are kids who lack the brain development for impulse control, there are kids who are navigating trauma or tension in their lives, there are kids with neurodivergent brains and kids with health conditions, there are kids in the middle of hormonal changes, there are kids testing out boundaries, there are kids being bullied or abused, and most common of all, there are kids—-simply in the midst of figuring things out as they grow. And a bad behaving kid also does not mean that a parent is bad or failing either. Children are incredibly complex beings in a developmental process (I see the rest of us that way too.) When a child is struggling and we take the time to look underneath their behavior and into their experiences of the world and their unmet needs, we help them build a meaningful (and shame free) path into learning. To learn more about the art and science of connection focused parenting, head to my profile page to get an order link to my parenting book: Raising Securely Attached Kids. Love on. #parenting #parentsoftiktok #parentingbooks

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To those of you parenting without a clear map of what secure parenting looks and feels like, I see you. To those of you parenting without a supportive partner or without a partner at all, I see you. To those of you parenting with a suitcase full to the brim with trauma or anxiety or depression, I see you. To those of you parenting in contexts where you and your children are unsafe and you have to teach them about scary realities you wish they never had to face, I see you. To those of you parenting thru poverty and the three jobs you are working to try to left your kids out of it, I see you. To those of you parenting thru loss or illness, and the thousands of tentacles that come with those realities, I see you. This is hard. Hang in there, what you’re doing is truly heroic. Love on. Love on. #parenting #parentingbooks #parentsoftiktok

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One week from tomorrow!!!! The final week for preordering and getting the preorder goodies I’ve got for all you early birdies helping me get this book launched high and wide!! If you’ve been waiting to buy the book it would mean the world to me if you bought it this week before Sept 3rd to get it rolling into its launch date with a fury!! Head to my profile to get the order link to the paperback, ebook and audiobook! 50% off preorder options if you order his week (aug 27-sept 3) thru @jointertulia. Sign up for a free 30 day trial at Tertulia.com and get 50% off my book for preordering!!!! (You can cancel your membership after that if Tertulia doesn’t make sense in your personal book purchasing habits) Let me know when you order so I can do a happy dance!!!! Love on. #parenting #parentingbooks

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1. A bear devoured both of the placentas that came from my pregnancy with my twins by stealing them out of my garage freezer and then leaving the place looking like a cold case crime scene. While we were out of town. The neighbor kids watching my cat at the time found the scene and may be scarred for life. My freezer was also filled with fish. 2. My parents divorced when I was in high school so my bio brother and I acquired 2 amazing step parents, 5 step siblings and 2 adopted siblings in that journey. My husband’s parents divorced when my son was 1 so we have bonus grandparents from that fork in their road. 3. You saw the reveal. 4. My inherited last name when I was born was Failyer. Pronounced Failure. Likely a result of Ellis Island interpretation of my ancestors German name. My mom put her foot down hard that we weren’t going to grow up with a last name like that and when I was 5 they changed all our names to Fehler, the most likely version of the original name. Then after three years of marriage I made a hard decision to part with that name and become a Harwood as a gift to my family. And we do a Harwood Howl around the dinner table that has made the change totally worth it. 5. No I did not kiss Bob. Old dudes are not my type. I pawned my globes to my parents for money to buy backpacking gear. Neither the globes nor the gear have made it to this point in our lives. Have you preordered my book yet?????? It’s a huge help to getting it out to retailers and best seller lists!!! Thank you for being my people and with me on this wild and sometimes unbelievable life and parent journey. Comment SECURE and I’ll DM you a link! #parenting #parentsoftiktok

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No matter how well we care for our children and offer them secure guidance: there will always be judgment from others. Our job is to do what we can to advocate for ourselves and our kids and to stay focused on the aupport of people who are putting the same level of care and kindness out into the world. Love on. #parenting #raisingsecurelyattachedkids #secureparenting #attachment #therapistadvice

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True beloning in childhood is so much more than sharing a last name or having a room in a home or a place at a table, its an emotional experience that has to be cultivated by caregivers. True belonging happens when we feel wanted at the table, accepted and valued for our whole messy authentic self, and the joy that comes from knowing that our people are proud of us for who we are. Belonging gives us confidence to try new things because we know that we have a safe haven to turn to if things go wrong. Belonging helps protect us from staying in toxic relationships becauase we know what it feels like to be known and accepted and treated well. Belonging teaches us to love and care for ourselves. 💛For more help in cultivating a secure relationship with your child at any age, preorder my book “Raising Securely Attached Kids” from the link in my bio!💛 ##parenting##raisingsecurelyattachedkids##secureparenting##attachment##securelyattached