thefaceofmalpractice

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“Toxic nap” is a term coined by the benzodiazepine withdrawal community for an experience that can be incredibly difficult to explain. Instead of waking up restored, some of us wake up dramatically more symptomatic, neurologically overwhelmed, physically sick, and feeling as though our entire nervous system has been poisoned. The exact mechanism behind what our community calls a toxic nap has not been scientifically established. One possible piece of the experience may be sleep inertia, the transitional period after waking when the brain has not fully shifted from sleep into wakefulness. In a profoundly sensitized nervous system, that transition may feel especially intense, alongside changes in autonomic activity and nervous system excitability. There is still so much the medical system does not understand or recognize about psychiatric drug harm and protracted withdrawal. Sometimes patients have to create the language for experiences medicine has yet to name. This is what a toxic nap feels like for me. #ToxicNap #SleepInertia #BenzoWithdrawal #BenzodiazepineWithdrawal #BIND

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Doctors too often minimize the very real effects psychiatric drugs can have on the brain and body. Many adverse effects are dismissed as something to “ride out,” rather than recognized as a possible sign that a medication may not be well tolerated. Patients deserve clinicians who understand not only prescribing, but adverse effects, withdrawal, drug interactions, and the pharmacology of the drugs they prescribe. Riikka’s story is a powerful example of why informed consent and better education around psychiatric drugs matter. 🎥 Riikka’s full interview is now LIVE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xH1L8yMRRWs?is=iPbKS-IOQbu4b2nu #PsychDrugHarm #PsychiatricDrugWithdrawal #AntidepressantWithdrawal #BenzodiazepineWithdrawal #Akathisia

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I’m 58 months into Benzo neurological injury, and right now, part of my healing looks like trying to enter the world again in really small pieces, with as much safety as possible. I’m essentially doing exposure therapy with life itself. Every time I ask my nervous system to tolerate a little more of the outside world, I experience a nervous system crash afterward. Sometimes it lasts a day, sometimes several days, and then it takes additional time for my nervous system to slowly work its way back toward baseline. One of the problems I’ve realized is that whenever I would crash and then feel even the slightest opening, I would immediately try to do something again. Instead of allowing my nervous system to actually hold onto that little bit of energy, I would spend it. I think that cycle ultimately kept me in what I call “Benzoini flu,” and I feel like it may have played a role in what eventually led to this setback. It’s especially difficult when you live with akathisia because your body is constantly telling you to MOVE. Resting and conserving energy can feel completely unnatural when your nervous system is driving you in the opposite direction. But I’m learning that just because I have a little energy doesn’t mean I have to use it. I need to pocket the energy I save. After I recorded this, my nervous system completely bottomed out over the following days. What initially felt like another post-exposure crash and Benzoini flu has now manifested into a full-blown setback/wave. And this one feels different. After experiencing so many different types of waves, crashes, and setbacks throughout this injury, I’ve become familiar with many of my patterns. But this particular setback is unique for me. I genuinely don’t know whether this will last weeks or longer, or what my baseline will look like when I eventually come out of it. For now, I’m stepping back from a lot of things in my personal life and reducing stimulation and demands as much as possible. Instead of using every small opening to push forward, I’m trying to let my nervous system actually keep some of what it gains. Maybe right now, progress isn’t about seeing how much more I can tolerate. Maybe it’s about learning not to spend every ounce of energy the moment it becomes available. 58 months in. Still learning this nervous system. Still healing. 🤍 #BenzoiniInjury #BenzoiniWithdrawal #BIND #ProtractedWithdrawal #PsychDrugInjury