ShayRowbottom

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during hard times, hey it's okay to hear lots of odd voices... the key is to not always listen to them. 😁 #Breakup #single #ifs #healing #hotgirlsummer

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Bufo - complete process. Not my first time with this medicine, but by far the most impactful. A few days after Ibogaine they recommend smoking Bufo, aka 5MeO DMT, the most powerful DMT on the planet. The moment you exhale your soul has already broken through to a higher dimension. I cut the slow parts of video out for the sake of keeping it less than 10 minutes, but the beginning part I was out on the ground for about 6 minutes total. I do not remember those 6 minutes. I only remember coming to once I start moaning and rolling around. At about the 4 minute mark you hear me laughing - I'll tell you why. I start laughing because in Bufo space, I remembered my true soul's essence, the infinite amount of times I have already been here, and how unserious it all really is. I laughed because in that moment I thought, "Well well well, here you are again. You came back to earth as sexy, silly, successful Shay to tear shit up and do it all over again babe." Aint nothing new in the universe... that's it. How comical it all becomes. When I stood up my energy was redirected to my solar plexus. I have always held tension in my solar plexus and seek relief in that chakra often. Funny enough, I always thought it was trapped fear. The Bufo showed me it's actually trapped anger from the abuse I was stuck in as a child. I started to relive it and really FEEL the pain and pressure in my solar plexus, and that's when I started to scream. I was screaming for that little girl who couldn't escape the abuse. Who wasn't allowed to stand up, defend herself, or run away (which I tried to do often anyways). Who was forced to live in a distorted reality of lies, confusion, and sick perversion. I have never before screamed like that in my life. Fuck these animals. Some people need to be put down. But I'm getting in touch with the rage of my abuse now. This whole process lasted 20 minutes. If I left this clinic with anything, it was the feeling of much more "I'm a bitch" which I have not allowed myself to feel or have access to. I have taken no shit from anybody since leaving this treatment, and I plan to continue. Let the rising begin. #bufo #plantmedicine #healing #shamanism

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I underestimated this. When I say “you can’t really think about it” I wanna clarify - absolutely think about it in terms of is this treatment necessary/right for me? because it is a BIG deal! Be sure you’re healthy enough and find a legit clinic. But if you do make the decision to go for it... Don’t overthink, just do it. Overall the clinic was AMAZING - I felt super safe & cared for. My only complaint was there wasn’t really any Shamanism there it was pretty much strictly medical... which concerns me for a lot of addicts post-treatment. Thankfully I hired my own Ibogaine Integration Coach who’s been a God-send! (Thank you, Pai!) I will say the drug was not what I was expecting, and can’t really compare to any other psychedelic. Because I was so awake&alert on the medicine, most of the treatment I questioned if it was actually working... it wasn’t until the following day, (and definitely now into the following weeks), have I noticed a substantial change in my brain and how I relate to things. The best way to put it is I reconnected to a part of myself that I was forced to cut off as a child so I could prioritize survival. Problem is I’m not a little kid stuck w/ monsters anymore, so I have been searching high & low for years on ways to LET GO of the PTSD and just live my life. Yoga, breathwork, diet/exercise, journaling, EMDR, talk therapy, not to mention EVERY OTHER PSYCHEDELIC TREATMENT! (lol). Seriously, I have tried it all. And while I’ve made small incremental improvements over the years which I am proud of, I have still always felt deep frustration that basic things in life shouldn’t be THIS F*CKING HARD for me! & all my cPTSD/major trauma survivors know what I mean. But holy crap. Yeah, Ibogaine reset something! Still in the integration process and taking it one day at a time, but I can truly see how this works for addiction and I’m grateful I finally feel like myself! Would I do it again? Absolutely. If you or anyone you know has questions about psychedelics, feel free to reach out or drop your questions below. #Ibogaine #PsychedelicTherapy #Psychedelics #ibogainetreatment #psychedelichealing