officialstephwise

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If this is showing up in your relationship, here is where to start... Before anything else; have a conversation with your partner about the pattern. Name it. "I think we've gotten into a cycle where our hard conversations aren't going well and I want us to do better." Just setting that intention together changes something. Next, incorporate a practice or code word to interrupt the pattern and slow yourself down. (it can be "pause" or something weirder like "pickles" lol just depends on your vibe) The important thing is that slowing down allows you to make a decision on your response instead of just having a reaction. I'll do a whole reel on what healthy conflict actually looks like — follow so you don't miss it. . . . Social media disclaimer: This is social media, not therapy. Because I may be a therapist but I’m not YOUR therapist. So take what resonates and leave the rest. Relationship and parenting advice is meant to be generally applicable to SAFE and desired relationships (unless otherwise specified) and any content posted is meant to be informative and entertaining and should not be considered replacement for mental health or medical advice from your providers. #relationships #behaviorism #relationshipadvice #learnedhelplessness #healthyconflict #conflict #problemsolving

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Here are all 5 steps laid out with examples: 1. “Wait, it sounds like what you’re really trying to say is ___, am I getting that right, or am I misunderstanding you?” OR “Did you mean it to come out like that?” 2. Ways to regulate mid-conversation: take a few deep breaths, ask for a bathroom break, get a glass of water, or just pause before responding. Anything that slows your reaction time down so how you respond is a choice instead of an impulse. 3. “Okay so you feel ____ because of ____, so that’s why you said ____. Is that right?” And once they confirm you understand them correctly, THEN: “Okay, I want to try and explain where I’m coming from… you ready for that?” 4. “That makes sense, given how you see it, even if I’d have handled it differently.” Or, “We don’t have to agree on this for it to be okay. I get where you’re coming from, even if I land somewhere else.” 5. “Thanks for bringing this up.. I know it got rough in the middle there but I’m glad we talked about it” or “I know that wasn’t the easiest to talk about but I’m so glad we did. Even if I’m not quite where you’re at with this it feels good that we can talk about it” . . . Social media disclaimer: This is social media, not therapy. Because I may be a therapist but I’m not YOUR therapist. So take what resonates and leave the rest. Relationship and parenting advice is meant to be generally applicable to SAFE and desired relationships (unless otherwise specified) and any content posted is meant to be informative and entertaining and should not be considered replacement for mental health or medical advice from your providers. #healthyconflict #healthycouples #relationshipadvice #marriageadvice #relationships

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The most important body part for intimacy is higher up…🙄😜 Start small. Something is always better than nothing. Even 2 minutes of closed eyes, slow breathing, and paying attention to your body, builds the skill of transitioning your mind from to-do lists to holistic presence. If meditation isn’t your thing, try a mindful eating exercise instead. Grab a piece of chocolate or a slice of citrus. Slow down. Notice all 5 senses: the color and shape, the smell, the texture in your hand, the sound as you bite in, the taste as it changes from first bite to last. This is the same muscle you’re building. That muscle is what opens you up. Not to sox specifically, but to being physical. To being in your body instead of your head. And that openness is what actually makes room for desire to show up. Want to practice it together with your partner? Try a 6 second kiss. Not a peck. A full 6 seconds. It forces you both to slow down and actually be there. Plus it has the added benefit of building in some tension (the good kind) and anticipation 😘 . . . Social media disclaimer: This is social media, not therapy. Because I may be a therapist but I’m not YOUR therapist. So take what resonates and leave the rest. Relationship and parenting advice is meant to be generally applicable to SAFE and desired relationships (unless otherwise specified) and any content posted is meant to be informative and entertaining and should not be considered replacement for mental health or medical advice from your providers. #meditation #intimacy #lovelife #sexy #mindset