Itsfinished.com

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Follow for more on narcissism, and heartbreak support and advice. One of the scariest things you’ll ever experience is falling in love with someone who is capable of exploiting you without remorse. Someone who makes you believe you’ve found the love of your life, while manipulating you, taking your money, cheating on you and using your love and trust against you. And the most terrifying part? You have absolutely no idea it’s happening. You believe every word. You trust them completely. You build a future around someone who may have been deceiving you from the very beginning. Then one day, the truth comes crashing down, and you’re left questioning everything. Not just them, but your own judgement and your ability to trust anyone again. That’s the devastating reality of narcissistic abuse. It’s not just heartbreak. It’s the trauma of discovering how completely another human being could deceive and exploit you. And rebuilding yourself afterwards takes incredible strength. #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #EmotionalAbuse #CoerciveControl #TraumaRecovery

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One thing that never ceases to amaze me is reading the comments on my posts about narcissism. So many people sharing their experiences, and so many of those experiences are almost identical. It’s as though narcissists are all following the same rulebook! But perhaps there’s a reason for that. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has nine recognised diagnostic criteria. And when you look at them, it starts to make sense why so many people describe such similar patterns of behaviour. Here they are, if you’re not sure: 1. Grandiose sense of self-importance – Exaggerating achievements, talents and their own importance. 2. Fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love – Believing they deserve an extraordinary life or relationship. 3. Believing they’re special or unique – Thinking only other special or high-status people can truly understand them. 4. Needing excessive admiration – Constantly seeking praise, attention and validation. 5. Sense of entitlement – Expecting special treatment and automatic compliance with their wishes. 6. Interpersonally exploitative behaviour – Taking advantage of others to achieve their own goals. 7. Lack of empathy – Being unwilling or unable to recognise or identify with other people’s feelings and needs. 8. Envy – Being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them. 9. Arrogant or haughty behaviours and attitudes – Acting superior, condescending or dismissive towards others. Five or more of these criteria may indicate NPD, but diagnosis requires a comprehensive clinical assessment. Obviously, only an appropriately qualified mental health professional, such as a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, can diagnose NPD. But you don’t need to diagnose your partner to recognise that they may have a high degree of narcissistic traits, particularly when those behaviours form a consistent pattern. And you certainly don’t need a diagnosis to recognise manipulation, exploitation, emotional abuse or the damage those behaviours can cause. Perhaps that’s why so many of our stories sound so remarkably similar. I’d be interested to know how many of these traits you recognise from your own experiences. #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #NarcissismAwareness #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery

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Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? One of the biggest differences between my experiences of abusive relationships was that when I was in a violent, psychopathic relationship, I knew I was being abused. I knew something had to change. Either he needed to get help or I needed to leave. But in my relationship with someone who displayed strong narcissistic traits, I didn’t recognise the abuse at all. The manipulation, charm and promises of forever made me genuinely believe I’d found the love of my life. Meanwhile, my self-esteem was being slowly eroded, I was questioning myself constantly and gradually losing sight of who I was. It was only when the relationship ended that I could look back and recognise the abuse. What I’d believed was love had been an illusion. And that’s the frightening thing. Sometimes you don’t recognise emotional abuse until you have the benefit of hindsight. Of course, abuse isn’t one-size-fits-all, and not everyone with narcissistic traits behaves in the same way. But perhaps the more important question isn’t whether your partner is a narcissist. It’s whether your relationship is healthy, whether you’re being treated with respect and whether you’re losing yourself trying to make it work. If you recognise that your relationship is abusive or unhealthy, perhaps it’s time to stop focusing on changing them and start focusing on your own self-worth, wellbeing and finding a safe way out. You don’t need a diagnosis to recognise that a relationship is damaging you. #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicRelationships #SelfWorth #DomesticAbuseAwareness